Not all writers need agents.
Huh?
Yes, you heard us right. Agent Query, the mecca of the agent-pushers, is now telling you that all writers do not need agents. And it all depends on if your book is AM, FM, or XM.
Don’t get us wrong. We love our agents. The right literary agent opens up doors that you—un-networked, unpublished little writer—could never open yourself.
The right literary agent will get your manuscript read by major New York editors. The right literary agent will negotiate your 18-page publishing contract.
The right literary agent will help track your advances and royalties, and will shout cha-ching on your behalf every time she sells your book’s subsidiary rights (foreign, audio, movie, etc).
It’s the glorious fantasy of having an agent that we all desire, right?
Except that there’s no point in querying agents if you haven’t written a marketable book.
Well, what in the heck does “marketable” mean anyway.
It means it must have a chance in hell of being acquired by a major New York publisher.
It means it must have a chance in hell of appealing to the masses. And it means it must have a chance in hell of making the publisher money.
So if you haven’t written a catchy pop tune, then don’t expect to get FM radio airplay.
Now, it’s true. Writing a catchy pop tune is not the only way onto FM radio. There are many FM radio stations, and each one plays a variety of music: pop rock, alternative rock, classic rock, heavy metal, hip hop, country...
But the one thing that all FM radio stations have in common is that they all play mainstream music. And often, they play the same hits over and over and over until you want to stab yourself.
Think of FM radio like major New York publishing. Is it all bad? Heck, no. Don’t mess with our Papa Don’t Preach or Janie’s Got a Gun or We Are the Champions, or we will bite you hand as you’re reaching for the dial.
Plus, FM radio serves a purpose; it’s ubiquitous. You can’t get away from it, and by default, everyone is forced to listen, whether we want to or not. Think you’re untouched because you’ve got XM or an ipod?
Think again. How many times has a popular FM radio tune ended up as the theme song of a new TV show or as the jingle for a new TV commercial campaign?
Like Big Brother, it’s being pushed, peddled, and promoted everywhere because the major music record labels have the $coin$ to shove it down our ear drums. And major New York publishing is no different.
So the question, "do you need an agent?" is best answered with another question: do you have a FM radio song?
If not, then repeat after us: just because my book isn't mainstream FM, doesn't mean I am a bad writer.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you should bang your head against your keyboard, piling up agent rejections
because nobody “gets” your brilliance. They “get” your brilliance (maybe), it's just that you aren't shopping a FM book.
Agents can’t get you FM radio play if you haven’t written a catchy marketable tune. They just can't, so why fight them?
If you’re getting agent rejections, and it simply says “not right for us,” maybe your book isn’t destined for FM? Maybe your book has a better chance finding an audience in community Radio land (shout out to WLUW!), or even floating through the satellite channels of XM.
After all, it's not that your book isn’t good enough for FM, it’s just not commercial enough. So why not consider other AM or XM publishing channels like small presses, literary magazines or e-journals? Channels that will give you and your work a better chance of finding an appreciative audience without compromising your artistic brilliance?
Of course, there are the exceptions. Death Cab for Cutie, Neko Case,
Bell and Sebastian, The New Pornographers—these are all AM and XM bands that have mucked around for years in the indie music scene. Then BOOM! They're all over the mainstream FM radio circuit.
Do these AM and XM bands deserve to have their songs introduced to a wider FM mainstream audience and make millions from it? Heck, yeah! But there’s ambivalence, too. Little loyal fans, like us, who found them first, now feel kinda bummed that we have to share them with the rest of the world.
Bottomline: Don’t blindly start querying agents unless you’ve considered whether your book is FM, AM, or XM. Most agents want catchy pop tunes that will get FM radio airplay, and can you blame them? This is a business, and good agents make money from selling their clients’ books. So stop chasing agents who can’t sell your books to major New York publishers.
If your work is more AM or XM, then be smart enough to recognize that, and start submitting to small presses or literary magazines or e-journals instead. Because there’s really no point in jumping into the rat race of mainstream publishing if you’re not a rat and your book isn’t mainstream.
And there’s no point in accumulating agent rejections just because your book isn’t FM.
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